Here are Patti Carmalt-Vener M.F.T. ‘s latest columns from
Pasadena Weekly, Oxygen Magazine,
Pasadena Cosmopolitan, Arcadia Weekly, Monrovia Weekly,
and Sierra Madre Weekly

Patti's Pasadena Weekly "Well Being" Column Leave mother out of it Acknowledging repressed emotions toward your mom .. . read more Woulda, coulda shoulda It’s never too late to turn regrets into actions aimed at ... read more Don't delay Procrastinating on health issues could have .. . read more It takes time Negative behaviors can be unlearned ... read more Focus, accountability, persistence It takes work to create the life you really want . read more Promises you can keep Visualize what life will be like when your goals are finally met . read more Joy in every moment Fear gives way to hope for a mother battling cancer . read more Running on empty Busy people are just as prone to isolation and loneliness . read more Of babies and bathwater Don’t discard siblings who disagree on how to treat . read more Cold sore confessions When’s the right time to tell your partner you have herpes?.. read more Ever grateful Some tips for making memorable holiday moments to treasure. read more Too many turkeys Time to change some family dynamics to be truly happy.. read more Out of the fog Friends and relatives of people with PPD need help working .. read more Born to love Re-evaluate the internal defense mechanisms that .. read more To thine own self ... Teen shouldn’t have to lie to get money for school from her deadbeat dad.. read more Life without father Don’t be so quick to paint dad out of the life of your unborn child.. read more Ending vicious cycles It takes work to rekindle a flame that’s lost its spark.. read more Go ahead and care Keep your life in balance while fighting for causes you believe in.. read more Time for the pain Much like with a death, grieving is needed after a breakup. read more Harder, faster, longer ... NOT! It takes a little work to build a better lover.. read more First priorities Don’t let questions over money ruin a second shot at happiness .. read more A Matter of Control Projecting your own problems onto your child is bad for both of you .. read more Love you A strong self-image quickly stifles that self-hating inner voice... read more Opening Doors It takes time — and effort — to become part of a close family .. read more No Two Ways You must either do what it takes to lose weight or .. read more Victim Reversal Parents need to worry if their son is being abused by his wife .. read more The Younger Woman Why a husband’s decision to leave might be the best .. read more Odd Man Out If grandpa comes to the wedding, don’t leave him alone with ... read more Wake Up to Break Up Knowing the right time to cut your lover loose... read more Hearing without listening Couples sometimes talk over each other and ... read more Funny you say that Try to find the truth behind offhanded but hurtful .. read more For the love of Ripley Think of dad first — not a sibling rivalry— before doing.. read more The Big Step Restore your inner beauty and stop obsessing on.. read more Coming down easy Helping a loved one through opiate withdrawal.. read more A Question of fairness Only clear communication can help a dynamic couple... read more What would you do? Restore your inner beauty and stop obsessing on.. read more Maie Mental Pause Men can learn much from women when it comes to .. read more Never Good Enough Restore your inner beauty and stop obsessing on.. read more Demystifying mental illness Catching up on the many medications available to fight .. read more Caging rage Identify the underlying feelings behind recurring patterns of anger .. read more Walk a mile Try to understand the feelings of children while rebuilding your love life .. read more Phased-in forgiveness Uncover your need to get over hatred, rage and self-loathing .. read more Mismatchmaker Don’t blame yourself for the behavior of an unscrupulous dating service .. read more Dream date It’s OK to be available for that special guy, but not at the expense .. read more Unfinished grief Sometimes the death of a dream leads to the rebirth of a vision.. read more Antisocial antidote One disorder can lead to another without intervention .. read more Double duties Some of the joys and perils of raising twins .. read more Talkin' about love Couples need to improve on what they don’t have before .. read more Breaking vicious cycles Many victims of marital rape have difficulty in defining it as such .. read more Confidentially speaking The best surprises in life are probably best found in a box of .. read more Cycles of healing Don’t abandon friends in abusive relationships who .. read more These old baby blues Recent mothers can experience three types of postpartum .. read more First Alert Studies show some school attacks could have been prevented .. read more Aging Gracefully Help aging parents define for themselves a preferred sense .. read more Never too late Change to feel alive, not deprived.. read more A Work in Progress In the New Year, be your own best friend.. read more Angels in our Midst Do you know someone who goes above and beyond... read more Wrong Number Teens need to know ‘sexting’ is both irresponsible and illegal... read more Breaking Bad Behavior Parents need to yank the leash when puppy love gets pushy.. read more Opposable Possibilities Toddler thumb-sucking could be a temporary habit and not... read more Christmas Compromise Find middle ground to satisfy your child of divorce and a new mate... read more Emotional Undercurrents Opposite political views under one roof can stoke repressed feelings... read more Cheering upDebbie Downer Let the person in the office suffering with GAD reach out to you for help... read more Your time Don’t be shy about asking for help when life gets tough... read more If not now ... when Don’t be shy about asking for help when life gets tough... read more An Unforgettable Pain The emotional anguish involved with killing someone's pet ... read more Making old new It takes some work, but sparks can turn back into flames... read more The 'hidden' addiction Spotting the warning signs of a gambling problem... read more Blast from the past Size up the motivations of former love interests... read more Family Affair A family uses letters to learn the benefits of open communication.. read more Fear of Feeling Setting the bar too high for potential suitors may be a byproduct ... read more Bedtime Dread There are no easy answers for children experiencing sleep terrors... read more Now hear this Acquiring and integrating listening skills will only help ... read more Dream catcher Dreams can reveal a great deal if we write them down before they fade.. read more Happy — and healthy — Campers A positive summer experience can help overweight kids... read more They know Drama. Not everyone can cope with the selfish theatrics of... read more Rising from the Ashes. Ways to reclaim your life from the pain caused by splitting up... read more What about me? Divorced dads must do what it takes to ensure their kids... read more Big Issues Having larger breasts is not always the answer ... read more And you say he's just a friend An ‘emotional affair’ can be just as damaging to a marriage . read more Change for the better Menopause occurs at a time in life that can be exciting ... read more LIve, love, relax Cougar couples should enjoy their time together and ... read more Triumph on the beach Heeding a call to help a stranded seal get back to the sea ... read more One slap too many A violent reaction to an innocent compliment may portend ... read more Sharing the love Everything is fine until a new baby arrives on the scene... read more Keeping a distance A fine line sometimes separates patients, doctors and friends... read more Words that hurt A gay couple finds healthy family relationships.. read more Amping up romance Add some extra spice to an already satisfying sex life... read more Aaarrrgggghhhhh!!! Learning how to express anger in a healthy, assertive and... read more A light along the way Does daily pot smoking lead to laziness or amotivational syndrome?... read more Sharing the Caring Demonstrating compassion is the best way to teach children ... read more American Idle Does daily pot smoking lead to laziness or amotivational syndrome?... read more Grumpus Interruptus Re-establishing a loving relationship after a period of friction is tough... read more He said, she said, they listened The best way to get along is by making your relationship... read more Not just child's play Play therapy allows children to freely express feelings ... read more Rules of Engagement What to do — and not do — when push comes to shove ... read more

Patti's Oxygen "Ask an Expert " Column Relationships - Healthy relationship, Healthy livestyle .. read more Patti's Pasadena Weekly "Well Being" Column (cont.) The Thoughts that Count Absent dad plus angry mom adds up to a rough holiday. .. read more Inner Visions Letting your wise inner self show you something beautiful. .. read more Life in metaphor Different dream symbols tell us similar things about our lives ... read more No good deed Be supportive and patient while sharing painful holiday memories ...read more Obsessively yours Don’t let a family member’s oppressive ocd symptoms ruin your life ...read more The parenting grandparent Tragedy presents new challenges to a baby and his single grandpa ...read more Rules to live by Set parameters for how far grandparents can go when babysitting ...read more Secret Sharer Take stock and recognize the beauty that lies within .. read more Under Control Tourette's syndrome can be complicated, and misdiagnosed .. read more The deepest pain Just being there is enough.. read more Well being Cyclothymia and how do deal with it. .. read more The thought really does count Treat your wife as you would a rare treasure. .. read more Letting Go Insist on being with someone who loves only you. .. read more Tough Choices Try some hard truth when being scared just isn't enough. .. read more Transferring Pain Letting negative feelings for some spill over into relationships with others .. read more Pain Killers Suicides are sometimes the result of misplaced pain, rage or guilt. .. read more The Illustrated Son Mental health can’t be measured by the ink a person puts on their body ... read more Staying friends People who feel they’re drifting apart can help each other change ... read more Don't hold back Fear of intimacy can lead to resistance to impulses, ... read more Helping hands Empathy, acceptance,and love are what depressed loved ones need ,., read more Healthy anger Steadfast love .. read more The Grumpy Bear Chair Very young kids need guidance — not punishment... read more Addiction Never give up hope.. read more Fear's barriers People seeking help put up walls when faced with powerful emotions ... read more Beautiful you Growing past the ugly duckling of yesteryear ... read more Nobody's perfect Poor body image can lead to problems.. read more The way back Reuniting is a two-way street ... read more Puppy love Early lessons in pet ownership will last a lifetime ... read more Clicking' with your therapist Don’t rush into selecting the person ... read more It takes three. Let's look at you, me and us.... read more Free to be Some people need more help than others in gaining independence... read more Extra-special love There are no easy answers to caring for a mentally challenged... read more Rivals for life read more Say what? Really listening is often the hardest part of communicating ... read more Time to quit We all know smoking is bad, but here are a few ways to help ... read more Cutting into bigger problems Self-mutilators have unusually strong emotions that rise fast and ... read more Don't panic! Focus on thoughts, feelings and senses to conquer fears... read more It's not your fault Rape victims must place blame where it belongs , ... read more Envisioning you Don't let engulfment or defiance lead to losing your unique ... read more When sorry isn't good enough Reconnecting with spouses who cheat is easier said than done ... read more A little understanding Knowledge and compassion are two good tools, helping kids with autism... read more Saying no, in a loving way A borderline mom may be a queen, but her daughter is not ... read more Your Not OK, I'm Not OK Therapy can't change reality, but it can help us better deal with ... read more Above the fray Kids caught in the middle of separation need parents focusing, ... read more Keep your hat on With age, celebrate the good things in a changing life, ... read more Words hurt ... and bind If verbal abusers are to be forgiven, they need to sign a formal ... read more Imagining the worst Worry that makes you sweat and lose sleep ... read more Setting limits Cast an encouraging but wary eye at an exploring toddler ... read more Be your own best boss ... read more In search of love Fear of intimacy may lead to beliefs that love is wrong and... read more When love isn't equal Teaching self-compassion is one way to help kids overcome rejection ... read more Loving the other woman Separating needs from wants may be best for teen daughters ... read more The right to love A person must earn the right to be itimate and real ... read more Be all you can be Staying true to your rightful nature can lead you to discover ... read more Phobic and friendless People suffering with Avoidant Personality Disorder must want change ... read more Let's talk Sex it great, but sometimes a little cuddling us is better ... read more Don't ignore grandma's grief ... read more A need to belong Emotional ties to others sow the seeds of human happiness ... read more A heartbreaking choice Deciding on bearing a deformed baby is too tough to do solo ... read more Seeking mother's warmth The reasons for how we react to some people may have deeper ... read more 'Overboarding' through life The reasons for how we react to some people may have deeper ... read more Silent treatment Can a vow of silence help enhance a relationship ... read more Little victories Take small steps to help build a youngster's self-esteem ... read more It takes two Boundaries need to be established to keep bullies at bay ... read more Swinging back into Life Single parents who are dating again need to pay to potential red flags ... read more Daddy dumbest Single parents need to be mindful of their children when pursuing ... read more Differently abled Asperger's adults have some shortcomings but lots .. read more Change for the better Six ways to to take back your life and work on your own happiness ... read more The perfect hostess Be sure your holiday feast doesn’t feature too many cooks ... read more Loving you Recognize the damage you’ve done to yourself and commit ... read more Thanks for sharing Get kids into the holiday spirit by establishing gratitude ... read more Hmmm ... What else isn't true? It’s important to quickly dispel fibs told in the early stages ... read more Working at love A co-worker’s intimate game of footsies with a customer leads to ... read more Imagining the best Practice, preparation and relaxation can help overcome... read more Baby Steps Changes are challenging for habitual hoarders ... read more Doing the Right Thing A friendly request for help can prompt serious questions ... read more A gift just for you Pamper yourself to beat stress over hectic holiday tasks ... read more They are what you eat Providing kids with healthy food helps them practice good self-care,... read more Persistence pays Focus, accountability and commitment are critical... read more Christmas on the run A trip to Grandma’s tests a family’s unity during challenging times ... read more Nowhere to turn Unplanned teen pregnancy is one of the times that tests ... read more Fresh Start New Year is the right time to resolve to change for the better ... read more Down but in denial In trying to understand others, you could be contributing to ... read more Perils of Porno Cybersex addiction tough but treatable ... read more Stick to your guns You can be warm to loved ones and still firm about what you want ... read more Mirror, Mirror ... Be wary of attempts at being more beautiful evolving into ... read more Just listen to yourself ‘Hear’ what your body’s telling you, then find the ... read more

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